Emma Foster Writes A Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Younger me,

If I could sit down with you today, there’s a few things I’d tell you….

I see that you’re afraid and uncertain. I want to give you a big hug and tell you that it will all be okay one day. It’s no surprise, as you’re in an unfamiliar place separated from your family, and you’re only ten years old. As I look at this photo of you in your oversized school uniform back then, 47 years ago, I can sense you’re feeling lost and scared; it’s no wonder as you’ve just arrived at boarding school.

Back then you struggled to belong and fit in, but I want you to know that you did your best, even though you didn’t feel like it then. And while I know that there was a little bit of you that resisted conforming to this new environment, I understand why you had to. You needed to be accepted and feel safe. You’ll be pleased to know that one day you will become the quiet rebel you always secretly knew you were.

At this time, and into your teens you berated yourself for feeling weak and hopeless when you didn’t stand up to the bullies. I just wish you could have known then how strong and resilient you really were. You’ll finally discover this when you face a life threatening illness in your mid 40s, and from then on you’ll never doubt your strength and resilience again. This will be your turning point – when you finally prioritise yourself and grow into the woman you were always meant to be.

You’ll also discover self-compassion in your midlife, that will become your superpower. If only it had been ‘a thing’ back then, as it really would have helped you to accept and love yourself without conditions or approval from others.

You didn’t know then why you played the role of ‘good girl’ so perfectly and often suppressed your own voice, needs and opinions to keep the peace. Twenty years on from then, you’d discover that your older brother would be diagnosed as neurodivergent, and that will explain a lot; why you had to act the way you did, and why people described you as emollient (even though you knew inside that wasn’t really you!)

And while it’ll take you over 40 years to let go of what was imprinted on your mind and in your heart at that time, I want you to know that you won’t look back once you’ve ‘done the work’ and discovered who you are, and in turn, what brings you joy and purpose.

So, little Emma, there’s no need to worry about not fitting in, not knowing who you are, feeling like an outsider, as one day you’ll realise that whatever challenges you face, you have all the resources within you to thrive, and that most importantly you’ll be loved and accepted by yourself, and others, for who you are.

I want to tell you this, and I know this will please you, that you will find your own voice and speak up for what you believe in, and you will own your story and be brave enough to share it with others. And in doing so you will inspire and motivate other women in their midlife to rewrite their own narratives, reclaim their story, and vocalise their inherent power and wisdom. That’s what Fifty Thrive is all about.

One day you will be so proud of yourself and what you’re building in your 50s. Fifty Thrive is my adult gift to you, a belated present for that bewildered ten year old, as well for other women in midlife who are healing and transforming.

It’s proof that you have always had it in you, yet it was only when you stopped feeling small and insignificant that you were able to fully step into your potency and purpose. One day you’ll understand and appreciate your own journey – who you’ve been, and who you’re becoming. And isn’t it ironic that just as society deems you invisible, you step fully into your power – see that rebellious spirit won through in the end!

And as I tell you this, your little face lights up, for we’ve reached this place together and that feels good for you, and me, I couldn’t have done it without you little Emma.

I love you unconditionally

xx

Author bio: 

Emma Foster is the Founder of Fifty Thrive, a vibrant and collaborative movement helping women in their 50s and beyond discover their own unique version of thrive. She has worked in public relations for over 30 years and is passionate about helping midlife women share their stories and expertise in the media, on podcasts and stages. She lives in Manchester, UK with her husband.