Loz Antonenko: A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

If I could sit down with you now, there are a few things I’d tell you…

I know you’re trying so hard to hold everything together. You think if you just keep achieving, smiling, and pushing, you’ll finally feel enough. You’re convinced that strength means never breaking, that love means sacrificing yourself, and that success will fix the emptiness inside. It won’t.

Here’s what you need to know. You don’t have to prove your worth. You’re already enough. The people who truly love you don’t need you to be perfect; they need you to be real. You can say no without guilt. You can rest without feeling lazy. You can fall apart and still be worthy of love and respect.

You’ll go through things that nearly destroy you. You’ll face ten straight years of bullying. You’ll lose people you never thought you could live without. You’ll face trauma, illness, heartbreak and pain that will bring you to your knees. But those moments will also strip away everything false. They’ll force you to stay truebto the essense of who you are and rebuild from the inside out to discover a strength that is fierce, grounded, and gentle at all times.

At thirteen, you’ll be diagnosed with ADHD — something almost unheard of for girls at the time. You’ll be prescribed Dexamphetamine, and while it will help you focus, it will also stunt your growth and dull your spirit. You’ll learn to function, but you’ll also start to believe that being “different” means being broken. One day you’ll stop taking the medication, determined to find another way. You’ll learn that your brain isn’t a problem to fix; it’s a gift to understand. When you align your focus with your values, you’ll discover just how powerful that brain of yours really is.

In your twenties, you’ll build your first business from the ground up. It will be wildly successful and make you a millionaire by 30, but it will also cost you more than you realise. You’ll work with your hero, your dad, but after a violent altercation, you’ll take out a Domestic Violence Order against him and he will erase you and your entire family from his life. It will shatter you, but it will also teach you one of life’s hardest lessons: that love without respect isn’t love at all.

Six months later, you’ll face something even harder. You’ll lose your husband, Brian, to suicide. That moment will change everything. You’ll be angry, lost, and heartbroken beyond words. For a long time, you’ll try to bury your grief under your achievement. You’ll chase control, perfection, and purpose, thinking if you just do more, you can outrun the pain. But grief doesn’t work like that. It waits. It will bring you to your knees until you finally stop running.

Your body will bear the weight of your unprocessed pain. You’ll face autoimmune disease, complete immobility, three brain tumours and heart surgery. You’ll keep going because you think that’s what strong women do, until you realise that strength isn’t about surviving at all costs. It’s about learning to rest, asking for help, and rebuild gently.

That’s when everything will start to shift. You’ll sell your first big business and let go of the version of success that was slowly killing you. You’ll start again, this time building something aligned with who you truly are, breath by breath, day by day, brick by brick. You’ll create Loz Life, helping others rebuild their health and confidence using the same principles that saved you. You’ll call them your Handbrake Habits — sleep, hydration, breathing, movement and eating — because they’ll become the daily anchors that keep you grounded, calm, and unstoppable.

You’ll meet someone new who will love you for who you are, not who you’re trying to be. Together, you’ll build a life that feels light and free. You’ll work with people you love, walk to the gym in your own neighbourhood, create content from home, and sing in a tribute band with your husband on the weekends. You’ll fill your car once a month because everything you need is close, simple, and intentional. You’ll make more money than ever before, but this time, it will come with peace instead of pressure.

You’ll still miss the people you’ve lost, especially Brian. That kind of grief never disappears, but it changes shape. It will become softer, wiser and even beautiful in its own way. It will remind you that love this deep leaves an imprint that never fades.

So, here’s what I want you to remember. You won’t always have it all together, and that’s okay. Life isn’t about being flawless; it’s about being real, present, and free. Keep your heart open, your boundaries strong, and your sense of humour intact. You’re going to need them all.

You’ll eventually stop trying to please everyone and start living in alignment with your values. You’ll build a life that feels authentic, joyful, and full of purpose. Happiness won’t look like a highlight reel anymore. It will look like peace, laughter, music, and moments of stillness. It will look like you: big, bright, bold and fully, unapologetically you.

You’ll realise that every heartbreak, every loss and every hard lesson was preparing you to step into your power. You’ll stop chasing validation and start choosing peace. You’ll become the kind of woman your younger self desperately needed: strong, kind, honest, and free.

With love and pride,

x Loz

About the author

Loz Antonenko, AKA The Mojo Mentor, is an award-winning personal trainer, integrative health and habit coach and founder of Loz Life. Based in Ipswich, QLD, she helps busy, neurodiverse humans rebuild their health and confidence through simple daily habits that actually stick. When she’s not coaching or speaking, you’ll find her performing with her husband in a tribute band and empowering others to reclaim their energy, joy, and unstoppable mojo.