Firstly, let’s look at what Mindset is and how it impacts our lives.
Mindset is, in raw form, simply what we believe. Someone who is motivated, disciplined, hopeful, happy and confident will have a much healthier mindset than someone who doesn’t take care of themselves, quits on their goals, stops themselves from living fully and feels out of place.
Our choices, actions, behaviour and emotions are also driven by our Mindset. The way we treat ourselves, what we allow, how much (and what) we fear, all stem from what we BELIEVE.
Where Do Our Beliefs Come From?
When we are children, events or traumas happen (like abuse, neglect, witnessing addiction, parents who fight, narcissism, disappointment, illness etc) and we make a decision about what that means. The main thing to recognise here is that we make a decision about what ‘X’ means based on the emotional maturity of a (for example) 6-year-old.
Do you think a 6-year old’s decision about what something means is going to be true, safe, rational and appropriate? Likely not.
Yet that decision, left unchecked, stays with us as our mantra for anything related or similar to the original event.
Meaning our Mindset around health might be, ‘I need food to feel better’ (if your Mother fed you cakes as a child to soothe your distress, you’ve learned to turn to food whenever you’re upset, or when you want to numb out), or ‘I don’t matter’ (so you will accept abuse in a relationship because your Mindset is that ‘at least someone wants me’), or ‘I’m not enough’ (so although you want desperately to get some nice friends you don’t reach out, or if you do it’s with the wrong people).
Our Mindset drives us, and whatever we believe about ourselves and the world around us is exactly what we create, because our Subconscious Mind is very obedient and will always work hard to find evidence to prove you right. Meaning if you believe all men are horrible, that’s what you’ll see, be attracted to, and accept. Same as health and well-being. If you believe that shedding weight is hard, and that exercise is boring, how motivated do you think you’ll be to take care of yourself?
If our Mindset is so heavily ingrained, because we’ve been hardwiring our brains with it since the day we made the ‘decision’ years ago when we were a child, how on earth can we change that?
There are clues in the patterns in your life. Think about what happens over and over. Does your weight fluctuate 15 kilos up and down and you can’t seem to stick to a healthy lifestyle? Do you repeatedly choose partners who let you down, cheat on you, abuse you? Do you long to change jobs but you’re so full of fear that you stay put for years on end and feel miserable. Do you quit on yourself over and over? Are you reckless with money?
Write down your patterns, and why you think you keep allowing it/doing it. Ask yourself, ‘what must I believe about myself and the world around me to behave this way?’ Then ask yourself, ‘what would someone with a healthy Mindset believe instead of that?’
The two most common statements my clients make are ‘I am not good enough’, and ‘I don’t deserve this’. Now if you led every decision with those two beliefs alone, what kind of situations are you going to create for yourself?
I am of the strong belief that we can read a tonne of great books, attend quality seminars, and have every intention to change, (and possibly make some subtle changes), however without consistent daily action, accountability, support and guidance, it’s highly likely we’ll fall back into old habits quickly.
I run programs, one on one coaching, and accountability groups solely focussed on Mindset, and my clients are achieving amazing results. We start by identifying all of our limiting beliefs (which form our Mindset), where they came from, then we work on changing our perception and healing from those events, create new, more useful beliefs and a much stronger Mindset. Then with tasking, accountability and support we start building evidence, getting great results and creating a different outcome that’s so much more fun and rewarding.
The reason I have all my clients end up in my support group regardless of what program they do with me is I’ve noticed that people crave connection, support, fun, accountability, and the opportunity to encourage and celebrate each other. And the interesting thing is that the majority of people don’t realise they love that until they are immersed in it.
Mindset work changes lives. It’s my passion. I love teaching clients how to get rid of their old Mindset and create a new one that fully supports their hopes and dreams.
Abracadabra is Hebrew for ‘I create that which I speak’.
Meaning your Mindset (beliefs) creates your experience in life. How would your life look if you believed differently?
About The Author
I am a Mindset Coach and Mentor and work with various modalities including NLP, Hypnotherapy and Timeline Reset. I facilitate workshops on connection, communication and Love Languages and coach one on one, group and team programs. My 30 day Master your Mindset program is online in a Private FaceBook group and runs several times a year. Once participants have completed that program, or one on one coaching, they are invited to continue by joining my online Mindset community.
Email: justine@justinedean.com