Confidence Tactics You Can Apply In Business And Life Every Day
Today let’s shine a light on the sometimes elusive tricky little beast that is confidence. It’s a curious thing that stops us in our tracks when we feel there’s a lack of it, but when we’re not thinking at all, and just DOING or BEING, it doesn’t seem to be an issue.
One of the biggest culprits I’ve found over the last three decades for feeling unconfident? Comparing myself to others, and then overthinking everything to the point of paralysis. Sound familiar?
Confidence Is A Doing Word
You need to be DOING to feel confidence, and it grows from there. It’s a doing word not a noun.
On the other hand if you’re THINKING about what you need to be doing, you’re way more likely to talk yourself out of it. Whatever IT is – something you need to do for your business, make a phone call, a video, have a difficult conversation with someone, launch a project, get on the mic on stage and loads of things in between.
So, let’s take the example of video in your business, to grow your visibility, your profile, your personal brand, your thought leadership (whatever you choose to call it, they are all pretty much leading to the same thing). In 2016 I started running workshops for women in business who wanted to dip their toe in the video marketing pond but were wracked with self-doubt and worry.
Over and over again, when I asked ‘what’s stopping you?’ Statements such as ‘I just don’t feel confident enough, I don’t like how I look, I don’t like how I sound, I don’t want to make an idiot of myself, a don’t know HOW to do it so I never start…’ One very memorable one was ‘I’d rather stick a pin in my eye than create videos’.
So Here’s Some Of The Ways You Can ‘Confident Up’
Option 1 – No Time Taken – Stop Thinking And Start Doing:
You can build confidence in a task or situation by breaking it down in teeny tiny steps and getting started then building momentum.
Start on the first step without giving yourself the chance to think. This has always worked for me – just do it JDL! Think about Mel Robbins 54321 method.
Basically anything you really want to do in your life, you can do it. Just count down from 5 to 1 and then stand up, post that thing, make that call etc…
If you find yourself thinking, ‘hell no’ then just remember WHY you’re doing this and get on with it.
I love changing my self-talk when I am feeling unconfident about something. Here’s some mantra’s I use for clients: Everyone Gets Better.
In all the time I have worked with clients in groups and one to one, I have NEVER seen anyone get worse at what they want to achieve. Knowing this might give you the confidence you need to get started.
It’s never as bad as you were expecting. I tell clients stories about clients from years ago that were adamant they couldn’t or wouldn’t or weren’t good enough for video, who are absolutely nailing it online now and couldn’t believe they ever worried about it.
Option 2 – 2-3 Minutes
Ask ‘what’s difficult about this?’ What’s REALLY stopping me here?
Sometimes I FEEL like I don’t want to do something and I can’t work out why I am avoiding it. There’s something stopping me, and the confidence to just get on with it has ditched me like a bad date out the bathroom window…
When I reflect on this I can usually work out what the problem is. Then I ask:
- Can someone else do this for me?
- Do I really have to do it at all?
- Can I spend the next 10 minutes on it then if I want to stop I give myself permission to do that?
- What’s the worst thing that could happen?
The confidence to get it done, hand it over to someone else, or even ditch it completely usually shows up.
Option 3 Give Yourself A Talking To
Imagine you were chatting to one of your kids about something they won’t do because they don’t feel confident. Going to a job interview, asking someone out, learning to drive. What is our advice to them?
Or think about that amazing friend of yours who you know can do anything they want. What would you say to them?
Start using that language with yourself.
Over To You
Creating your very own ‘confidence code’ involves choosing the steps that work for you, some of which I’ve listed above but you could also add:
Getting out of your normal space and working somewhere else.
Journaling It Out
Start writing your thoughts down and see if you can see patterns emerge.
Positive affirmations such as ‘I am a confidence women who get’s what she wants’
Put them all together and you’ll be unstoppable. Which one will you try first?
About The Author
Jenny De Lacy is the founder of Talking Digital, a content marketing consulting and training business based in Melbourne. She specialises in bringing the unique and memorable to her clients’ online content, through their websites, social media, video marketing and more.
Growing up the youngest of five means she honed her communication skills early, quickly learning how to read a room, help others understand one another and bring people together. She turned these skills and a love of learning, into a 30 year corporate career in training and presenting, working for some of the biggest organisations in Australia.
Jenny is an expert in strategic communications, focusing her skills on content marketing, consulting, education and speaking. She helps business founders, leaders, and their teams grow powerful personal brands to show up as the unique and memorable business they want to be.
Rejecting the random and often generic acts of content marketing she sees online , Jenny works closely with her clients to create custom content plans and provides the know-how to implement them, or supports clients with content creation for website, social media, video marketing and more.
A solo mum to three teenage boys, she can be found at co-working spaces and cafes avoiding taxi driving gigs and crimes against personal hygiene.
Follow her on LinkedIn and her hashtag #talkingdigital for more helpful tips about nailing your business message and getting it out there