Self-care has become an “it” words over recent years and with good reason. Describing your ability to take care of physical, mental and emotional needs, it’s essential in an increasingly demanding, uncertain and anxious world. Whilst you might think of retiring to a decadent bubble bath for some Netflix and a bottle of red and chocolate as self- care, it’s important to understand that the real purpose of self-care is to support your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with more than just care, but as an expression of self-love and self-respect.
The problem is that self- care often gets confused with self-indulgence. You have a bad day, you feel the stress levels rising and before you know it, you are reaching for the wine, biscuit jar, brownies or online shopping tab. And if you are brave enough to be really honest with me here, when your self-indulgence is masking a gentle form of self-medicating, nothing will change, because you are not addressing the source of the stress.
What Is True Self-Care:
Self-care is tending to your body, mind & emotions, to manage stress mindfully, not just numbing the pain. It means different things for different people, but there are 3 key steps you need to know to enhance the quality of your self-care regime.
- Recognise Your Stress. Stress can express itself as anxiety, perfectionism, overly controlling behaviour, talking too fast, eating too much or too little, not being able to sleep and sometimes sleeping too much.
- Accept that stress is here and you are experiencing it. I know how hard it can be to accept difficult feelings like fear, anger, and frustration. But when you are in denial of those feelings, you give them more power to influence your behaviour, and they have a way of taking over without your permission. Instead of seeing these feelings as good or bad, right or wrong, just see them as natural response to the environment you are in. You are human and life is busy, messy, unpredictable & sometimes overwhelming. Its Ok to feel. And its Ok to care for your-self in the face of the feeling.
- Nurturing yourself is the fun part of self-care we often confuse with self-indulgence. To ensure your self -care is on point, here are 3 aspects of nurturing to consider:
- Soothe your nervous system – after your stress hormones have sky rocketed, leaving you feeling rattled and fatigued, get an early night, take a walk in nature, do yoga and/or meditation and yes, have a bubble bath and relax, breathing deeply, giving emphasis to your exhalation.
- Celebrate your strength and tenacity to deal with challenging people and workloads. Choose words of self-praise and acknowledgement instead of self-judgment and criticism. Let go of self-talk like “I should have, if only” instead focusing on what you did do well.
- Nourish your body, with wholesome fresh food of seasonal vegetables, good fats, and lean protein, avoiding coffee, sugar and alcohol, which overstimulate the nervous system.
- Practice self-love with kind words and actions, taking care of yourself as you would a dear friend. Be kind and gentle to yourself.
- Practice self-respect by checking your boundaries. Are you saying “Yes” too much to others and in the process saying “No” too much to yourself and your own self care needs.
Self-care becomes easier with practice and there is help available if you need the support of a professional.
So, how is your self-care and what can you do to be kinder,
more loving and respectful of yourself today?
Love to hear your thoughts leave me a message in the comments box below…
About The Author
The author, Tania Burgess, is a wellbeing coach and mindfulness teacher. She is the Director and head teacher at Turn UP Your Zen, a mindfulness and wellbeing hub on Sydney’s North Shore. She describes herself as a sensitive soul who knows firsthand the stress of raising a family, earning a living and managing challenging relationships. As a Certified Wellbeing Coach, Yoga & Meditation teacher, with over ten years of experience in wellbeing, she shares her professional expertise to support her clients in developing the skills to create calm in their lives.
Her two signature programs have helped hundreds improve their mental and emotional health:
- Find Your Zen: Trade your cranky for calm, learn 6 techniques over 6 week https://turnupyourzen.com/find-your-zen-course/
- Turn UP Your Zen, a 9 month mindfulness mentorship program to increase your ability to stay calm and centred, with more energy, better boundaries, kinder relationships and living with purpose.
https://turnupyourzen.com/turn-up-your-zen-coaching/